What Am I suppose to do?

I'am tired and hate myself

I hate myself

for being hopeless

ungrateful

I envy my older sister

she found her passion

she has talent

she is doing fine

she is going to be an awesome architect 

what about me?

I still don't know what is my passion

I don't have talent

I'am slow as snail

my work is not tidy 

even I always try to make it look nice

maybe this is what people said growing up process

but

it is hard for me

sometimes I think of suicide

yup I say it again suicide

but I'am glad to be born as Muslim

In Islam suicide is "HARAM" illegal

TIME

Is not the same as my childhood life

even if I'm not working hard 

I always get a good grade

And always be among clever kid

but now

even if I put all my hard work

the result is still disappointing me

I'm losing hope

I hate myself

I'am trying so hard

but my memory is weak

it is hard for me to recall what I had learned

formula?

damn those formula

since matriculation I try to overcome this problem

but it is getting worst

I cried a lot 

writing makes me feel better

If I have problem

I never complain to anyone

I only complain on this blog and my diary

coz I know 

no one care to 

read

I wonder if my parents know what I feel?

what would they do?

I think it is not gonna change anything

I really wanna give up on my course

but 

I can't quit my degree

coz I don't know where to go after that

engineering is hard for me

I wish I can survive until graduation with good grade

Insha Allah

Hang Out with Mia (for Hunger Game Catching Fire)

Feel Great

It was so spontaneous 

we did not plan to go out but

during weekend in UTEM is soooo

NOTHING to do la...

this weekend I stay alone in my room

coz my only roommate went back to her hometown

so yeah alone in day and night

mostly I online and sleep...duh

seriously enough sleep

also not fun coz I felt time passing really fast

On sunday evening Mia came to my room

she said "Oh bosan la..jom tengok movie?"

I was like 

HELL YEAH LETS GO OUT

so we decided to watch Hunger Game 

(Catching Fire)

OMG  I really love that movie 

At 1st I'm sooo not a fan of Hunger Game

you know the idea of killing people to survive

poor people were forced to play hunger game bcoz of capitals people

(omg they enjoy watching people dying)

but bcoz of Peeta Mellark character 

by (Josh Hutcherson)

I fall in love with this movie

he is sooo damn romantic (his eyes kya~ melt me)
Don't know why I always cried for every touching part
so I cried a LOT in this movie
kikikiki

Hunger game 2 (catching fire) was AWESOME

but 

the ending is sooo "I want more"

(just like twilight breaking down part 1)

I never read hunger game novel

so I really really don't know what happen to them

to wait 1 more year for movie to come out

aigoo~

I just can say I can't wait for more

next, I also wanna share a good restaurant around

Aeon Melaka

Mia and me went to Restaurant Garden Recipe

such a lovely place

English concept. 

Hello this is Mia

Enjoying juice
Mia's juice is good for skin
got tomato in it
very freash

My jucie is for preventing cancer "I think la"
actually I forgot ...
a bit sour

in the end we change our juices bcoz I don't like sour
and Mia don't like the taste of her juice

This is Mia's choice fried chicken
(Brown rice) 

This is my choice
grilled chicken and brown rice
love the pumkin soup

Love this restaurant
this picture was captured by one of restaurant staff
(very friendly customer service)

It's been a long time

I wanna give up on this blog
but... 

I'll keep this blog just for myself
(even though I rarely update it)
This childish, immature and random post blog,
I'll keep it until I can't write anymore
why?
because writing makes me feel better hihi
usually I express my feeling by writing
I think I give better expression when I write

I started when I was in primary school
If I ever feel happy or sad I'll write in my secret book
Lots lots lots of things I had wrote in that book
but one day my mum found it and secretly told my dad about that book
the most embarrassing thing ever happened
when they read it and act like never happen


of course I found out a several month later
omg I don't know how to act in front of them
well parents are caring but sometimes I need to keep my secret as my only secret
so I'm really careful bout what I write
coz my parents have been expecting for my new personal story
adoi...

btw cleaning also makes me feel better
ahahahaha weird rite?
but yes when I was in bad moodI'll clean up my room
after I finish cleaning I'll feel much better

3 month as Engineering student

I just Don't Know

Seriously I don't know what I'm doing

blurr

I think it is not as what I'm imagine

 I just keep asking the same question

why?

why I'm here?

why not as Geologist? 

I wanna be geologist

but I believe in Qadak and Qadar

....

maybe because I'm not independent enough

or 

I just miss my old friend

here is a bit different

they are not the same

most of them is younger than me..erk

yup most of them are 1 year younger than me

so I feel so "terasing" la...

not easy to fit in

...

hmm I think I need to open my mind

JAKTI camp

Camping at Gua Kelam, Perlis

I love camping

don't you?

last weekend I went to Gua Kelam, Perlis.

It was tiring but fun fun fun

(capture by me with only camera fon in bus)

This camping call Kem Bina Negara

not as gempak as I expected

but I had fun knowing new friends

hey made a lot of  friend ok

There are some activity that is really boring

no extreme activity since the weather not so good

raining in nite and day

the first time I ever done in this camping is

...

...

eat on this

tadaaaa

do I look enjoying my lunch?

ok

I'm introducing my group member

behind guys in my group

girls

I snapped pics

pretty kan?

hihihi

tired to tell all my activities

so we had motivation, some excersice, explore the Gua Kelam,

activity in rain, and explorace

I did not capture many picture + lazy to upload

kikiki

lastly before we go back

we stop by at Padang Besar and shopping!

lalalalala

HPV vaccine

Ouch, ouch

HPV vaccine to prevent cervical cancer.

So our matriculation counselor suggested to us to take it.

Well it good actually, like people said

"better prevent than cure"

so I've decided to take

...

but there are certain problem

I am phobia of needles and blood

(not critical)

I can't watch it, I'll scream or shiver

why?

hmm I don't know

I can't stand to watch thriller movies

such as SAW, FINAL DESTINATION and so on la

kesiankan?huhu

but I LOVE horror movies

...

Today I've took 2nd dos of vaccine

I think 2nd is less pain than the 1st shot

gladly I already overcome my sickness

symptoms?

1st vaccine no symptoms

2nd I get headaches

So for those who have not take it
please take it
to prevent cervical cancer
in Malaysia just go to LPPKN
it is free



Movie I've watched recently

 

Movies (^o^)

During semester break the first thing I wanna do is watch dramas and movies that I can't watch because of tutorial and exercise

so after PSPM ended, I have plenty of time to relax^^

...

Heartbreak Library
(2008)

This movie is about a librarian, Eun Soo (Eugene) who just break up with her boyfriend. So she wanted to start a new life but she still can't forget about her ex-boyfriend, at night she cried alone thinking about her ex-boyfriend. One day she found a guy, Jun Oh (Lee Dong Wook) torn a page from several books. She discovered the guy only torn page 198, she taught that guy was crazy but actually the guy had lost his memory and he need to find something from the 'note' given by his ex-girlfriend. Eun Soo decided to help him...the story begin...

I like this movie because it is so simple and quiet. The place with less people and beautiful sea. Hmm.. refreshing! I'm also Lee Dong Wook fan. Do you notice he looks like Donghae oppa^^

Eugene is beautiful. I like her too. So combination between both of them was DAEBAK!

I also cried in this movie huhuhu

but the ending will not disappointing you

I asked my friend Zatil to watch this movie but she don't like it. Well never mind maybe we had a different taste.

...

Heaven's Postman

A romantic fantasy movie. Story about a postman, Jae Joon (Kim Jae Joong) who delivers letters to heaven. He was seen by a girl, Ha Na (Han Hyo Joo) that wanted to send a letter to her dead ex-boyfriend. She was caught by Jae Joon because of her cursing letter. So Jae Joon think her letter does not deserve to be send to heaven. At the cafe' Jae Joon told her that he is a heaven's postman but Ha Na did not believe him. Jae Joon offered Ha Na to be his assistant. She refused but in the end she do not have any choice but accept the offer. They had helped many people who had unsolved problem with the dead. Ha Na started to like Jae Joon but she discover Jae Joon actually a real heaven's postman...

Actually this is 2009 movie but tried not to watch this movie because I'm jealous with Ha Na. Why she is so lucky to be the heroin of this story kekeke. but now I've watched it and I LOVE it

huhuhu

This story also very simple, sweet and romantic.

KIM JAE JOONG SO HOT la

his hair remind me about Mirotic

wa I miss all 5 DBSK

keep the faith ok (^o^)

Beautiful place

nice scene

favourite place in this story is at the first cafe' they went.

So mostly I'll watch movie if the hero or heroin I like, even though it not nice but I'll still watch it

kekekeke